A Few Days Off

I wanted to make something from Skinny Italian tonight, honestly I did. However, I stayed at the office later than usual, until about 5:55 (mind you, I got into the office at 8:25 am), was generally exhausted, and emotionally stressed. Oh, and I went the entire day fueled by nothing more than a cup of espresso and legal speed (see caffeine pills). Needless to say, I am not necessarily in the mood to cook.

Instead I went shopping.

Anyway, the point is, this is a very hectic week for me. The publication I work for has just launched, so everything there is a bit more intense. It's also the anniversary of my father passing away this week, and I've been suffering a dull head ache the last 72 hours and I'm on the verge of vomiting anytime I find myself stretched too thin.

So, anyway, I am taking a few days off from the blog. I'm took off from work on Friday, 11 June, and I will most likely have an update then. Another dish from Skinny Italian. And since I have the WHOLE day to myself (well, I will probably go to the gym and a hatha yoga class that day, I think it would be good for me) I might try to make something slightly more complicated. Or perhaps I will make both a lunch and a dinner!

Any suggestions?

A Hypocrite is a hypocrite is a hypocrite

Hypocrisy: Moral self-contradiction whereby the behavior of one or more people belies their own claimed or implied possession of certain beliefs, standards or values. It's total hypocrisy of Danielle to pick and choose when gay slurs are acceptable, and claim to be an advocate, as they never are.

So calling someone a "faggot” when they aren't gay is more acceptable than calling someone "gay" when we're not actually aware of their sexual preferences? In what world does this logic make sense (Kelly Land?) You did not say anything (as I mentioned in last week's recap) out of protection ? You'd let down a group you "advocate," aka protect, because you were being "protected." That's what I call spineless. Gay slurs are just never acceptable, because no matter how you say it or who you are saying it to the implication is that being Gay is a negative thing worthy of derision (which it's not!).

Who is this Kim "G"ranatell? My mother has apparently met her several times, but can give me no insight. However, is she is so concerned about her son's friendship with Chris, why if she even bothering to hang around Danielle? That's playing with fire! It almost feels like she just wants the screen time, or they're bringing her in to be a cast mate.

Now on to the text message. Since when is "Bye" a synonym for "I am going to kill you?" That's like Kelly levels of delusion. However, was it acceptable for Ashley to send that text message? No, that's not going to solve any problems, and it is as Jacqueline said a bit trashy. It is very high school though, and Ashley is high school age. However, the fact that she and Danielle were going back and forth in some facebook/text flame war? Danielle is 50-year-old woman, why are you trying to tear down a high school girl about her weight (as someone that has struggled with eating issues I do find that particularly abhorrent)? Why are you getting into facebook fights with her? It's really indicative of the type of person Danielle is. That's abnormal. It's bad enough to go after your peers, it's even worse to go after people more than half your age!

Back to Danielle, like she's so convinced that Dina is trying to ambush her or somehow get her. At a public place (ps, that restaurant, Chakra, had some of the worst Calamari I've ever had)? That she needs to bring her entourage with her? And did we notice how Danielle tried to manipulate the situation "I formed my opinion about you based on what Jacqueline told me." Danielle, we all recall how desperately you wanted to be friends with her.

Some final thoughts/comments:

Anyway, the place that I ALWAYS GO to get my supplies for cooking out of Skinny Italian(!) A&S DELI was featured on the show tonight! That fellow, Angelo, is insanely friendly! Fellow Bergen Countyites (and Passaic, and Essex, et al) Go there, I promise you will not be let down!

Who is that random guy that doesn't talk at all but follows Danny Provenzano around? He's like an even bigger stereotype! He just stands there, fist in hand, never says a word but makes funny, reactionary facial expressions.

So who is leaving the show? I think all signs point to Dina. What do you all think? (Also, I guess we know why they brought on Kim Granatell-to replace the outgoing housewife).

Episode V

Tonight's episode was crazy and upsetting. This poor family has a child sick with cancer and in comes a crazy woman with an entourage of felons, cons and hell's angels. She turns the whole of the event into something about herself. How crazy. She's not well. I've already expressed my belief that she has a personality disorder (and I am not the only one that thinks that). Her narcissism is insane. It's off the charts. And she's so vindictive and I generally think apathetic to the condition of others. Did anyone else notice that that fellow in her posse, Danny, totally said the word "faggot" more than once, and we did not see Danielle say boo about it-much different that her reaction last year to the use of "gay" by Joe (obviously neither is acceptable in any society, polite or otherwise)? Like, she was so caught up in the moment, the manipulation, in herself, self-obsessing, that she could have cared less.

Further, she's like shit talking a 20 year old kid, trying to emotionally psych him out! You're like 50 years old! What is up with that? Also, the woman you're with is the mother whose child is best friends with the kid you're trying to psychologically intimidate?

I am trying to figure out this Kim "G" (have we noticed how they are called "G" even though their last name was said twice in this episode) woman. Is she just desperate to get on tv? Is Andy Cohen going to bring her onto the show, and is this their way of introducing her to the world a la the introduction of the new New York housewives? Either way, she and Danielle are good for one another because they're both more or less using one another it seems like. A symbiotic parasitic relationship!

As for that crazy birthday party thrown for Gia. It looked fun, but who the hell thinks it's a good idea for someone that young to ride around (helmetless) with their younger sister on the back (also helmetless). Gia's little red headed friend dressed in black was visible in the back ground with this really skeptical look on her face.


Anyway, return tomorrow for an update complete with dinner.

Episode IV

Well congrats to Teresa for giving birth this episode. Also, for terrifying me about having babies. However, it's very cute to watch parents bond with new babies. I don't have to worry now, I am not having kids for a very long while!

Less cute, the creepy guys at Scores that were totally ok with showing their faces on national television while receiving lap dances. Your buddies will think you're cool for about five minutes, but you're going to regret that at some point!

But this episode was filled with juxtaposition (babies being born, babies falling seriously ill- and all the best to that family, I hope the baby is doing better), stereotypes (guns, felons, Italians, threats, Jersey. Not that I mentioned the "M" word), ambition (the face of strip gentlemen's club car washes) and in the thicket of it all the storm was building to the craziness that will come to a head at the Brownstone. The episode is had two storylines: the joys of cute new life and all the sweetness associated there, and the callousness that comes with age, that somehow people can potentially turn a benefit for a sickly little girl into a rumble.

I have a feeling that most things in Danielle's life are transient in every sense of the word. So she's putting together a gang of her own, a new group for the time being, but will we see them again after next episode? She's recruiting people to go against the Manzo clan for this upcoming rumble at the Brownstone, only adding kerosene to smoldering embers of disdain these people hold for one another. Caroline is no better in this episode though, particularly in those last five minutes of the show! Her rhetoric was near-Jihadist: "don't call them your friends if they're not having me or Dina present the check" kind of sounded like "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" in some sort of way. And it seems like whatever small dissent from the family there might have been in this episode, the family is going to ban together for next week.

All said, next week is going to bring the crazy.

And tomorrow I'm going to update with a delicious new dish. Make sure to check it out!

A Break From La La Land

...I think an ellipses is the perfect way to start of this post regarding last nights Real Housewives of New York because What The Fuck!


What do you guys think, did Kelly forget to take her drugs or does she have one hell of a coke hook-up down on the Virgin Islands?

Ok, not that I should joke because in all seriousness that was bizarre and strange and god knows. I've always kind of thought that Kelly had some delusions of grandeur about herself, and that yeah maybe she was in la la land half the time. But last night Kelly not only had a psychotic break from reality, she had one from la la land. There was nothing la-la-ish about that at all. She was paranoid, delusional, and making no sense (which I did not think this woman could make any less sense than what we've already seen). I mean, as the night progressed her claims became more extreme. From I keep on dreaming she's going to kill me, to I feel like she wants to kill me, to SHE'S TRYING TO KILL ME and SHE HAS ALREADY TRIED TO KILL ME A BUNCH OF TIMES. Ok, accusing someone of attempting to kill you is a REALLY serious thing to say. Like, no person in their right mind would make such outrageous claims. In fact, it's pretty easily construed as illegal.

Kelly claims it's all editing, but they didn't edit her to act that way. She was clearly not alright. I've honest to god never seen ANYONE behave like that before. Plus, we already know she has a record of violence. Recall she was arrested last year for assaulting her (then?) boyfriend.

But I will say what is creepy is that she is so obsessed with Bethenny. She puts entirely too much time into caring about what Bethenny does and doesn't do, is or isn't. It's a little strange. Who cares if Bethenny is a cook or a chef, it's pretty much fucking semantics.

And poor Sonja. You know I wasn't too keen on her at first, but now I am becoming a big Sonja fan. She's an unabashed oversharer...so am I! So i appreciate that. Also, she seems to be an all around well-intentioned, fun-loving woman. Also, she is writing a toaster oven cookbook!! However, she is perpetually being left with Kelly. At least Sonja was aware enough of the situation to be the one to say first hold up we've got to back up because this woman is unbalanced.

Back in New York Jill is plotting whisking herself away to St. John where no doubt the women will be overly pleased to see her. Jill is doing to Bethenny what Jill a few episodes ago was freaking out about happening--a surprise I'M HERE LET'S TALK! session. Or as Jill called it an ambush.

Also, we need more episodes with less Luann like this one. Luann is the single most boorish woman I've seen on reality tv. She's like a less self-aware female version of Spencer Pratt

In all, this episode came close to the table flip episode as far as epicness goes. It was up there.

Speaking of up there, on an unrelated post I just have to share with everyone this great rooftop bar i went to yesterday with a friend of mine! Top of the Strand in mid-town. The rooftop bar was fabulous, the drinks were creative and the view was spectacular.

Anyway, I plan to make a seasonally appropriate meal tomorrow since the weather's been so amazing, see you tomorrow!

Episode III

So, the third episode. It felt mostly like Housewife fodder if you ask me. Like, this episode was mostly unexciting but there's always a calm before the storm and next weeks episode looks insane.

Anyway, some thoughts on the episode. First off, Caroline. I appreciate that she doesn't bull shit, but that said I do think she can be a little overbearing. It came across somewhat in her segment with Jacqueline. Speaking of Jacqueline, watching her interact with her daughter is kind of funny because it reminds me of the way my mother and sister interact. It only makes sense that Ashley and my Sister got along when they went to high school together.

Watching the show people always reflect how level headed Danielle's children seem. However, I've heard from someone that has spent time with her kids that they're pretty different from their television portrayal. Until tonight anyway. I had heard that Danielle's eldest is fairly disrespectful and rude, and I think there was a real sense of that in tonight's episode. I found much of her behavior bratty. I know 15 is a rough age, but for god's sake, you're at fashion week! The closest I've ever been to fashion week is walking down the stairs at Bryant Park while on lunch break, breaking a heel (of a Bruno Magli no less) and getting quickly snapped by a photographer for it!

Onto Dina's house. My god the aesthetic could not be anymore different than mine. The leather couch she and Teresa were sitting on looked very comfortable, but I do not think I'd put that in my house personally (I'm not so keen on larger furniture). But, speaking of Dina's decor vs. her spirituality, I would recommend getting rid of some of the superfluous stuff! There's just SO much in her house, and I've read that too much stuff in a room can really mess up the energy.

I am cooking dinner on Tuesday night. I am not traditional in any sense of the word, so dinner will not be ready by 5pm. In fact, I'll just be getting out of work by then (guess I'm just not pretty enough, hence the job)

New York Ladies

I know this is a Real Housewives of NJ blog, but we can't forget the ladies just to the east of Bergen County. Especially after last night's episode! What a shit-show that was (but those in glass houses, I was pretty tipsy myself last night).

I have a question. Do people really like Kelly? I mean, I don't see how or why. The woman is a certifiably idiotic. The fact that she's a "journalist" is something I find vaguely insulting. Not even vaguely. She literally does not know how to put words coherently together. When she speaks it's like an onslaught of stupidity. The lemons/lemonade thing? Her insistence at going after someone who had just lost a parent with inane arguments? The woman should really get her voice box surgically removed to make up for the lack of mental filter/brain. What an idiot!

Speaking of voice boxes, what about Luann. She's really setting up a successful career...for whatever Drag Queens decide to do a "Countess" show (am I right?). And as I tweeted a week ago: money cannot buy you class, but it can buy you an autotuner. If you missed it Jezebel uploaded some clips of Luann singing on the show, and on Watch What Happens.

Anyway, I'm having a low-key friday night. My mother is at her Gourmet Group, the younger sister is god only knows, so I am going to settle in with some Thai food from Malee Thai, a delicious Hefe (my favorite style of beer) and watch the Soup!

This beer is delicious on warm, humid days like the one we've got today in New Jersey!

Anyway, next recipe blog should be up on Saturday. Make sure to check it out!

Reflecting Before Tomorrow's Cooking Debut

I've made my choice regarding tomorrow's dish. I sat down and combed through the book and came to a decision based on the recipe's preface: that it's ideal for cold nights, and my has the weather been miserable. For those not in New Jersey it's the middle of May and it did not even break 50 degrees today! This was only made worse by the dreary drizzle. Tomorrow should be warmer, but by the time I'm making dinner the temperature should be in cooler territory.

Speaking of cold, I'm having the blogger version of cold feet. Don't worry, I'm not going to not cook! I'm just getting anxious because I realized how daunting making all this food is actually going to be! Cooking can be an ordeal. The supplies, the prep, the cleaning-on top of that I'll be doing this after a long day at work and a train commute home! All my friends can attest to the fact that I'm high strung, especially when it comes to food. I for one am not surprised that I'm somewhat stressed about the task ahead of me. I can only imagine the stress the woman behind the Julie&Julia blog (the blog that this blog kind of parodies) must have felt cooking more than 500 recipes!

Perhaps I'll have to make sure to drink a few of Teresa's Bellissimo Bellinis whenever I find myself stressed in the kitchen (and anyone who cooks can tell you drinking is some of the fun of cooking)!

Oh! And what am I going to make tomorrow? Well, I went to the Market Basket and bought all my supplies, but you're just going to have to come back and see for yourself!

Some Thoughts On Episode II

So, I have to admit before I started watching The Real Housewives of New Jersey I had never before heard, used, or knew of the existence of the word "Chucky" (first used last season by Caroline's daughter, Lauren) as a term for female genitalia. Perhaps sex education is taught slightly differently at Ramapo High School as opposed to my high school alma mater Indian Hills (the two schools in the regional high school district for the FLOW area).

But onto a thought from last night: who throws a luncheon to honor someone's accomplishments without inviting them? The evidence of a cluster b personality disorder (which often manifest in victims of abuse) keeps on piling up.*

While my mother was driving me to the train station today we talked briefly about the interactions between Danielle and the other women. My mother said Danielle had better find a way to interact with them more often or she might get the boot. It made me think of a tweet that Ms. Staub posted a few days back asking her followers to tweet Andy Cohen that they love her. Makes one think.

I spent last night looking through the Skinny Italian cook book and decided that I'm going to make two-three dishes a week. The book features just over 60 recipes, so that will keep my busy for sometime!

Make sure to check back on Thursday! I'll have something, to take a quote from Teresa, delicious and juicy to share as I post my first Skinny Italian cooking experience!




*disclaimer: I'm not a psychiatrist, I'm financial journalist. This is just an observation of mine.